


I Wanna Turn Back the Time We Had

by 2hyunisthetruth (gsmizz)



Series: Lingering in the Universe [4]
Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: 2hyun - Freeform, Angst, Canon, Gen, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-PD101 Feels, canonverse, cuz i need closure, i know this is very late but i needed to write it ok, i will never let 2hyun die ok?, pd101
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 02:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11888358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gsmizz/pseuds/2hyunisthetruth
Summary: An epilogue, of sorts.





	I Wanna Turn Back the Time We Had

**Author's Note:**

> Ok bear with me, because I know that this is something I should be over by now, but I needed to write this for closure, and to end this series. (Un-beta'd, btw)

 

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

It was never supposed to be like this.

 

Three smiling faces across from him that he could no longer see, his eyes ablur with tears. And the tears wouldn’t stop falling, no matter what. _Stop. Stop._ Why were they smiling? He felt like a wound.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Minhyun’s name was called, his heart soared. _Yes._ Finally, the recognition he'd worked for. He could finally make his mother proud to have him as her son, not ashamed. He and the other boys next to him were like a cresting wave. A foamy and triumphant shout into the sky, bubbling over with emotion. His body barely even felt attached to the earth, like it might float away at any moment.

 

Then. More numbers.

 

More names.

 

Suddenly the top 4 were being called. And there was no space left for Jonghyun. For Dongho, or for Mingi.

 

Only the eleventh place remained. Among the candidates: Jonghyun and Dongho. And Jonghyun had gotten first place before, hadn’t he? Jonghyun had to make it, _he had to_ …

 

The announcement for 14th place. The twist of a grimace on BoA’s lips. A sinking feeling in the pit of Minhyun’s stomach.

 

_Kim Jonghyun._

 

His name sounded like a punch in the gut.

 

Then. _Kang Dongho_. A second sucker punch.

 

The wave had crashed. He lost it’s triumphant energy to a burst of tears and swirling emotions that pulled him under. He couldn’t breathe.

 

Dongho’s arms around him. More tears.

 

He floated across the stage, adrift. Alone in a sea of bodies.

 

Jonghyun’s arms around him. Mingi. But they were like apparitions before him, ghosts slipping through his fingers. Family he’d suffered with that he now had to leave behind.

 

The many years they’d spent together pulled at his heart, ripping it like a bloodthirsty shark.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The first time they met, they were just boys with a single dream between them.

 

He could remember it all. The hopefulness of their debut, their strong beginning. The cooling embers after the flame. The long Japanese winter, their curse and their salvation. Their music, shouts into the void. The few, familiar faces in the crowd; people with burning hearts who tried to scream with the passion of hundreds. People that still believed in them. People who could see their inevitable end. Through all of it: never giving up. Never letting go.

 

The times they laughed. The times they cried. The times they held on to each other because they had nothing else.

 

The time they joined hands and jumped, dreaming that they could change everything.

 

And one puzzle piece, left behind. One voice saying, ‘ _You’ll do well, right? I’ll be watching, so work hard for me_.’

 

The way they pulled apart, now separate like a constellation: only invisible links holding them together. Links that no one could see, links that they held in their heart, cheering for each other, feeling melancholy for each other. All the same, brotherhood without saying it.

 

A time when, though disparate, they still shared one heart. One dream.

 

A time now gone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tears finally dry, he returned to the dorm. Four faces, smiling. Faces telling him to work hard: live like he had been reborn into a new life.

 

_We will wait._

 

A final moment with Jonghyun, alone. They stood face-to-face, Minhyun’s fully packed suitcase lying on the floor beside them.

 

“Jonghyun…”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“I…”

 

What could he say? With all that was between them, what could be said in a moment like this that wasn’t already being shared, forcefully and painfully, with their eyes.

 

“Minhyun,” ever the leader, Jonghyun spoke, “don’t cry like that again, okay? You aren’t losing anything. Go have fun. Work like crazy. Don’t worry about us, and don’t look back.”

 

Minhyun could only nod and duck his head, feeling the tears gathering in his eyes again.

 

“Hey, stop it. It’s not goodbye for us. Not really. It won’t ever be.”

 

Jonghyun reached out to him, pulling him into his arms with a light sigh. Minhyun clung to the embrace, wanting to hold Jonghyun as close as possible, if only for a moment. When they released each other slightly, (still in each other’s arms, but with room to breathe between them) Minhyun looked down into Jonghyun’s familiar face. That same face he always knew was smiling in a way Minhyun couldn’t remember ever seeing before. The contented curve of his lips, the light in his eyes, his uncreased brow; all of these things filled Minhyun up. And when Minhyun looked down at his mouth, and leaned his head forward, the slight shake of Jonghyun’s head didn’t sting.

 

Minhyun understood Jonghyun’s action for what it was. It wasn’t a rejection, not really, just… A refusal to lessen what they shared between them. A refusal to let there be a ‘ _one last time_ ’.

 

Because there would never be one.

 

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, none of them cried. They didn’t want to send him off like that. Instead they hugged and joked and laughed until the last moment.

 

The dream they shared between them? It was still there.

 

They were still a constellation, a small cluster of stars that were light years apart but somehow still close. A grouping of lights that shone, each on their own, but painted an image when drawn together.

 

The image they drew together wouldn’t fade. Would still shine. It would just have to be put on hold for a little bit. After all, they’d come this far, fueled by their longing for their dream, hadn’t they? They would just have to hold on for a little while longer.

 

_Waiting._

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Even though we walk on different paths, time still passes_

_Even though we look at different views,_

_We look at the same sky_

_On this canvas we drew together_

_Your color has not been filled in_

_-NU’EST W (If You)_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it was okay. Leave a comment if you liked, and as always I can be found at me-ow.tumblr.com 
> 
> PS: Ok so I have a pretty decently-sized chunk of an 2Hyun AU in the works, so look forward to that if u are interested in that kind of thing! Talk to me on Tumblr for more details!


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